Around Edmond: My reason’s to #BeReal. Congrats to the 3 Edmond Classes of 2018! Life Happens: The Nature of Domestic Violence.

Hi everyone!

I’ve been on a sort of online hiatus. Not really intentional, but necessary to connect with my goals moving into my 10th year, and in starting my 11th volume of EdmondActive in print on July 1, 2018, and personally. I have been desiring to connect with people in person instead of connecting solely on and around social media. And, in doing so, I am noticing more and more people doing exactly the same. I can’t tell you how much awesome has transpired in doing so, it’s amazing.

#BeReal – My reasons.

In June of 2017, while working one day, my hands and feet became numb and the feeling didn’t return when I got up and moved around. The fear this instilled in me was indescribable. We all know, no matter what age we are, that a sedentary lifestyle happens when you do computer work and this is always a cause for concern/change.

That day, I literally dropped where I was at, started exercising, changed my diet, and started an 11 month path to lose 100lbs, using skills I received 10 years prior from an amazing trainer. And for those that know me as a tiny person from years past, yes. This happened to me. The reasons as to why this happened aren’t for public consumption nor do I wish to divulge them at this time. But I knew what needed to be done to regain myself and my self respect. With. No. Excuses. And, no one to hold me accountable, except for me.

I am at 76 lbs lost as of today, and am actually aiming at losing another 50 lbs., ultimately, but am currently aiming at losing another 30 lbs by June 30 (I have 24 to go!).

Not only have I regained the feeling in my hands and feet, but increased lung function, my energy level and creative level have returned and at a heightened level! I have found that many things caused this weight gain and the loss is rectifying all of those negatives. And this is so peaceful, no matter what and how the negatives end up rectifying themselves. For me, personally, it was well worth the hard work I had to put in and frustration when I wasn’t meeting my goals as I had expected.

My next goal is to run, not walk, the 10k in next year’s marathon. It’s a goal that is personal to me and I can’t wait. So if you follow me on Social Media, know this is why I am using the hashtag #BeReal.

If you find yourself in any one of these situations, and don’t have skills to do this, contact a locally trusted fitness professional and get started now. There are many in the metro that can help you achieve your goals.

Congrats to Edmond’s Class of 2018

Congratulations to all of the Edmond Seniors today graduating from Edmond North, Memorial and Santa Fe! I am so excited for all of you and I hope you have a fun weekend and amazing time pursuing what sets each of your souls on fire!

Edmond Public Schools is offering live streams of each graduation happening today at the Cox Convention Center, here, and so far have gone live with Memorial!

Life Happens from Edmond Family Counseling

The Nature of Domestic Violence

John Goetz, LPC

As the survivors of the Florida school shooting head back to school and the nation focuses its attention on the why and how of this tragic event, I would like to suggest we pull ourselves away from the headlines and place some of our focus on a type of violence that literally strikes people in their homes.  Let’s start with a definition.  Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another.  It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional or psychological abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence varies dramatically.  In the United States an average of 20 people are physically abused by intimate partners every minute. This equates to more than 10 million abuse victims annually.

Domestic Violence is prevalent in every community, and affects all people regardless of age, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, gender,  race, religion, or nationality.  “Over all 1 in 3 female murder victims and 1 in 20 male murder victims are killed by intimate partners”, Criminal Justice Policy Review, 19(1), 117-130.  These are very sobering statistics.

The main objective of abusers is to dominate and control the other person in an intimate relationship.  They are manipulative and clever, using a wide variety of tactics to gain and maintain control over their partners.  Every relationship is different, and all abusers do not follow the exact same pattern of abuse, but they do follow a similar pattern using an overarching strategy known as coercive control.  Coercive control refers to a combination of tactics such as isolation, degradation, micromanagement, manipulation, stalking, physical abuse, sexual coercion, threats and punishments.  An abuser often operate within cycles including periods of good times and peace turning into periods of abuse.  Over time this allows the abuser to instill fear in their partner and maintain control over their lives.   Abusers often present themselves publicly as loving and attentive.  They may be charming, successful, well-liked and even romantic.  However over time these behaviors change.  The attention they give at first seems supportive and well intentioned, then it feels isolating and controlling.  A key indicator comes when the victimized person tries to assert themselves causing the abuser to become even more controlling and abusive.  The victimized person becomes fearful and believes they are unable to escape or leave.  Sometimes, the abuser may not let them leave.

This article just begins to try to describe the dynamics of domestic violence, undoubtedly there are other dynamics that are involved.  Education is the first step to avoiding these relationships and recognizing the signs if this is affecting you currently.  There are resources and people to help you.  If you feel you are a victim of domestic violence contact the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-safe (7233), the YWCA  (405) 948-1770, or www.TheHotline.org.  Edmond Family Counseling accepts all “walk in” clients who are in crisis free of charge.  You can reach us anytime by phone at 405-341-3554.

Stop by Wednesday for another Around Edmond!

Sherri